Hi,
This is going to be long, rambling and will contain quite a bit of vitriol. It is a sentiment I have always felt but have never expressed in print, although I would whenever a discussion of said topic arose in the context of a conversation. I am talking about Harry Potter, the multibillion dollar franchise, based on the story of the boy wonder (??) wizard who fought against all odds to defeat the greatest dark wizard of all time in an amazing one-on-one contest, in a series spanning seven books and some more movies (8?? 9?? Not sure, not going to google either).
Despite the premise always being there in my brain, it has been thrown into sharp contrast thanks to the latest giant in the realm of fantasy, George R R Martin's 'Game Of Thrones' < A Song Of Fire And Ice, for those who have read the books>. The books, and the subsequent TV series are as different to the J K Rowling's masterpiece, in that, despite being set in the realms of fantasy, GOT has far stronger storylines than HP. Good and evil are actually evenly matched in the series, and there is regular proof to show just how nasty and evil the bad guys can be. Granted, the HP series is targeted for children, so maybe all my arguments fall short on that simple premise, but since I am well into adulthood, I shall air (my) greivances about my intelligence getting insulted.
Without drawing constant comparisons with GOT, let me launch into my laundry list of complaints. The final image of the series is the fairy tale happily ever after for Harry. He's married to the girl he likes, he has kids with the girl he likes, he names said kids after people who have died so that he could marry said girl and father said kid. The initial image of the series, is of a scrawny unloved kid, who's abused by his guardians and a bully of a cousin, who has a lightning bolt across his forehead and tends to perform unexpected feats of 'magic' under duress. So obviously, this is the story of one boy's trials and tribulations to restore some respect and normalcy into his otherwise difficult life.
That's where it loses it's charm for me, this boy is touted as 'The Boy Who Lived' and 'The Chosen One', (which are amazingly good names to have on your business cards). Yet, all he works towards is being as normal, nondescript and mediocre as possible. It doesn't make sense, the responsibility of a whole world is on you, a world which is clearly non-human, since they have a separate word for humans ( Muggles, you muggles), and yet, all his goals and dreams are distinctly human (and middle class) in nature. I have a gift that not many people possess, I have been blessed with talents within the realms of that gift which not many people possess, I have the blessing and well-wishes of the best of the race to support me at every turn, you know what, that's too much pressure, let me just make sure that they all disappear (read die) so that I can marry my girlfriend and have kids and pay their fee from the wealth my parents left me, because I was so desperate to leave the confines of these people who wish me to be better that I dropped out of school to escape the whole gimmick altogether. Ya, what does Harry Potter do in adult life?? I'd like to bring in a common sentence from my own life here..
What do you do now??
I'm a pro-musician.
Yes, but what's your job?
He knows from the time he is 10 years old that one of the most skilled dark wizards is out to get him, the fact that he's an orphan is because of said wizard, the fact that he has a wicked permanent tattoo is because of this dude, yet, HP has never felt any urgent compulsion to open a book and learn a few things that might help in his massive quest to defeat 'He Who Must Not Be Named' (Can you imagine that guy's business card?). Now, there'll be people jumping to his defence saying that he has passed all his tests at Hogwarts, and some of them with above average grades, but to them I say, the dude didn't know how to mend a cut at the start of the last book, how to mend a cut. There was a high chance of him bleeding out before he would have even met Voldemort for the final showdown. Tetanus was as big a scare for HP as The Dark Lord. All those months of hiding amongst different forests and so on, thank god Hermione was with him, he wouldn't have lasted more than a day without her.
So let me talk a little bit about her, everyone thought, including Dumbledore, that Harry would bag Hermione, but true to his underachieving form, he went for Ginny Weasley. She already has a crush on me, and isn't clearly superior to me at first glance, even though she grows far greater, so I'll choose her. Snare em while they're young Harry, I mean for a guy who lived in a cupboard, you got game.
Going back to straight facts against Voldemort. Simply put, there is no way he wins that fight. I cannot even begin to express in words how stupid that outcome is, one of the most underwhelming fights of all time. Just to put some perspective on the situation. Severus Snape, clearly the greatest occlumens of all time since he fooled both Voldemort and Dumbledore under their noses, never picked a direct fight with Voldemort. When Voldemort was a spirit in the jungles of Albania, people still didn't assemble forces to go seek him out because they were still scared, case in point, Prof Quirrell. He found Voldy, and Voldy conveniently consumed him. That's how strong he was even while he wasn't human. When Voldemort came back, and was having issues with wands and so forth, Snape still didn't pick a fight with him, for he must have known he'd clearly lose. Why I mention Snape is because, in Harry's fight against Snape, he was severely, severely outclassed, so far that Snape in fact suggested that he go and learn some more. He was slower than Snape, and in everyway inferior. Yet somehow, in every fight he has had with Voldemort, he matches Voldemort for speed. I just can't believe that. In Voldemort Vs Dumbledore, Harry clearly has a hard time following the quickness of the spells and counterspells. He could feel the force of Dumbledore's spells as they went past him, and Voldemort more than matched him, so he obviously had similar power behind his blows. I'm supposed to believe that Harry Potter, who couldn't open a textbook to learn a spell to heal a wound, has the same willpower as Voldemort to hold onto those spells everytime their wands clashed. Potter, who at the end of the first fight is heavily fatigued, and full of cuts and scrapes, and bleeding, and emotionally wasted and drained, seeing the deaths of so many, and seeing how Snape saved his butt on several occasions, has enough reflexes to match a fresh Dark Lord, but of course it wasn't that. It was some convoluted trickery and wandlore nonsense that killed the Dark Lord.
Also, yes, I get that The Dark Lord chose him, and put some of his qualities into him, clearly, hard work and willpower and respect for magic wasn't in the list, and you just can't spin that anyway for me. His arrogance is beyond legendary. If you're a worthless git who doesn't appreciate the value of things, then just keep them safe. What gave you the right to throw the Resurrection Stone in the forest for anyone to find, or to throw The Elder Wand (the same wand with the convoluted trickery and wandlore nonsense which saved his ass) away, for anyone to find. Those are amazingly powerful magical objects, the stuff of folklore, people go through entire lives on quests to find those objects, and you were enough of a prick to throw them away. And he's supposed to be a Horcrux too right?? Weren't those things supposed to be full of dark magic? I mean one of them nearly took Dumbledore's hand off, and of course accelerated his death. What did Harry ever do that was amazing in it's self-defence? Fainted, put his hands on another man's face, broke an arm, got lucky with a sword and phoenix tears, fainted again, learnt a Patronus charm that he couldn't execute to save his life.. Literally, he couldn't, read the books, Rowling put in a nice bit of proxy there to save Harry's pox-ridden ass. He shot out golden sparks from his wand once, that no one, including the best wandmaker alive, could explain. That's what it took to save him, clearly stating that this is out of everyone's area of expertise. Oh, and if you thought Harry knew a secret spell for Golden sparks that'll keep Voldemort at bay, no sir, he didn't know how to mend his own cuts.
Now, the final nail in the coffin, because this is literally that. The number of people who passed away to save his miserable worthless little behind isn't even funny. Off the top of my head, his parents, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, one of the twins, Severus, Mad-Eye, Neville's parents went insane, Hedwig ( a damn owl did better than him), Dumbledore, Cedric, old man guarding Voldy's paternal home. Now those from the other side who died because of fighting in this stupid battle. Bellatrix, Crabbe, Goyle, Voldemort of course, amd many more whose names I can't remember, because the writing doesn't focus on them that strongly. They said the dark side was getting stronger, but they said it in one sentence without any real implications being shown to the readers, because little children don't want to read about bad guys killing a lot of innocent people. Voldemort is the real hero, he kept repeating, I don't want to waste magical blood, please stop the fighting. He is the one who actually cares about the race at large. Harry just wants a normal life with the girl he snared while she was young (yet made out with quite a few before she finally settled for him), and wants to learn how to parallel park. I'm surprised he even put his kids at Hogwarts, and seriously, what's his job?
All these amazing people, who've spent years getting to be amazing, all gave their lives up for this one jackass. I mean I quiver with rage everytime I think about it. Good vs Evil, and the triumph of good vs evil, but my God, this wore thin real quick. The series should be named, Harry Potter, and the kick up his backside that he should have received a long time ago. No Harry, but seriously, where do you work?
This is going to be long, rambling and will contain quite a bit of vitriol. It is a sentiment I have always felt but have never expressed in print, although I would whenever a discussion of said topic arose in the context of a conversation. I am talking about Harry Potter, the multibillion dollar franchise, based on the story of the boy wonder (??) wizard who fought against all odds to defeat the greatest dark wizard of all time in an amazing one-on-one contest, in a series spanning seven books and some more movies (8?? 9?? Not sure, not going to google either).
Despite the premise always being there in my brain, it has been thrown into sharp contrast thanks to the latest giant in the realm of fantasy, George R R Martin's 'Game Of Thrones' < A Song Of Fire And Ice, for those who have read the books>. The books, and the subsequent TV series are as different to the J K Rowling's masterpiece, in that, despite being set in the realms of fantasy, GOT has far stronger storylines than HP. Good and evil are actually evenly matched in the series, and there is regular proof to show just how nasty and evil the bad guys can be. Granted, the HP series is targeted for children, so maybe all my arguments fall short on that simple premise, but since I am well into adulthood, I shall air (my) greivances about my intelligence getting insulted.
Without drawing constant comparisons with GOT, let me launch into my laundry list of complaints. The final image of the series is the fairy tale happily ever after for Harry. He's married to the girl he likes, he has kids with the girl he likes, he names said kids after people who have died so that he could marry said girl and father said kid. The initial image of the series, is of a scrawny unloved kid, who's abused by his guardians and a bully of a cousin, who has a lightning bolt across his forehead and tends to perform unexpected feats of 'magic' under duress. So obviously, this is the story of one boy's trials and tribulations to restore some respect and normalcy into his otherwise difficult life.
That's where it loses it's charm for me, this boy is touted as 'The Boy Who Lived' and 'The Chosen One', (which are amazingly good names to have on your business cards). Yet, all he works towards is being as normal, nondescript and mediocre as possible. It doesn't make sense, the responsibility of a whole world is on you, a world which is clearly non-human, since they have a separate word for humans ( Muggles, you muggles), and yet, all his goals and dreams are distinctly human (and middle class) in nature. I have a gift that not many people possess, I have been blessed with talents within the realms of that gift which not many people possess, I have the blessing and well-wishes of the best of the race to support me at every turn, you know what, that's too much pressure, let me just make sure that they all disappear (read die) so that I can marry my girlfriend and have kids and pay their fee from the wealth my parents left me, because I was so desperate to leave the confines of these people who wish me to be better that I dropped out of school to escape the whole gimmick altogether. Ya, what does Harry Potter do in adult life?? I'd like to bring in a common sentence from my own life here..
What do you do now??
I'm a pro-musician.
Yes, but what's your job?
He knows from the time he is 10 years old that one of the most skilled dark wizards is out to get him, the fact that he's an orphan is because of said wizard, the fact that he has a wicked permanent tattoo is because of this dude, yet, HP has never felt any urgent compulsion to open a book and learn a few things that might help in his massive quest to defeat 'He Who Must Not Be Named' (Can you imagine that guy's business card?). Now, there'll be people jumping to his defence saying that he has passed all his tests at Hogwarts, and some of them with above average grades, but to them I say, the dude didn't know how to mend a cut at the start of the last book, how to mend a cut. There was a high chance of him bleeding out before he would have even met Voldemort for the final showdown. Tetanus was as big a scare for HP as The Dark Lord. All those months of hiding amongst different forests and so on, thank god Hermione was with him, he wouldn't have lasted more than a day without her.
So let me talk a little bit about her, everyone thought, including Dumbledore, that Harry would bag Hermione, but true to his underachieving form, he went for Ginny Weasley. She already has a crush on me, and isn't clearly superior to me at first glance, even though she grows far greater, so I'll choose her. Snare em while they're young Harry, I mean for a guy who lived in a cupboard, you got game.
Going back to straight facts against Voldemort. Simply put, there is no way he wins that fight. I cannot even begin to express in words how stupid that outcome is, one of the most underwhelming fights of all time. Just to put some perspective on the situation. Severus Snape, clearly the greatest occlumens of all time since he fooled both Voldemort and Dumbledore under their noses, never picked a direct fight with Voldemort. When Voldemort was a spirit in the jungles of Albania, people still didn't assemble forces to go seek him out because they were still scared, case in point, Prof Quirrell. He found Voldy, and Voldy conveniently consumed him. That's how strong he was even while he wasn't human. When Voldemort came back, and was having issues with wands and so forth, Snape still didn't pick a fight with him, for he must have known he'd clearly lose. Why I mention Snape is because, in Harry's fight against Snape, he was severely, severely outclassed, so far that Snape in fact suggested that he go and learn some more. He was slower than Snape, and in everyway inferior. Yet somehow, in every fight he has had with Voldemort, he matches Voldemort for speed. I just can't believe that. In Voldemort Vs Dumbledore, Harry clearly has a hard time following the quickness of the spells and counterspells. He could feel the force of Dumbledore's spells as they went past him, and Voldemort more than matched him, so he obviously had similar power behind his blows. I'm supposed to believe that Harry Potter, who couldn't open a textbook to learn a spell to heal a wound, has the same willpower as Voldemort to hold onto those spells everytime their wands clashed. Potter, who at the end of the first fight is heavily fatigued, and full of cuts and scrapes, and bleeding, and emotionally wasted and drained, seeing the deaths of so many, and seeing how Snape saved his butt on several occasions, has enough reflexes to match a fresh Dark Lord, but of course it wasn't that. It was some convoluted trickery and wandlore nonsense that killed the Dark Lord.
Also, yes, I get that The Dark Lord chose him, and put some of his qualities into him, clearly, hard work and willpower and respect for magic wasn't in the list, and you just can't spin that anyway for me. His arrogance is beyond legendary. If you're a worthless git who doesn't appreciate the value of things, then just keep them safe. What gave you the right to throw the Resurrection Stone in the forest for anyone to find, or to throw The Elder Wand (the same wand with the convoluted trickery and wandlore nonsense which saved his ass) away, for anyone to find. Those are amazingly powerful magical objects, the stuff of folklore, people go through entire lives on quests to find those objects, and you were enough of a prick to throw them away. And he's supposed to be a Horcrux too right?? Weren't those things supposed to be full of dark magic? I mean one of them nearly took Dumbledore's hand off, and of course accelerated his death. What did Harry ever do that was amazing in it's self-defence? Fainted, put his hands on another man's face, broke an arm, got lucky with a sword and phoenix tears, fainted again, learnt a Patronus charm that he couldn't execute to save his life.. Literally, he couldn't, read the books, Rowling put in a nice bit of proxy there to save Harry's pox-ridden ass. He shot out golden sparks from his wand once, that no one, including the best wandmaker alive, could explain. That's what it took to save him, clearly stating that this is out of everyone's area of expertise. Oh, and if you thought Harry knew a secret spell for Golden sparks that'll keep Voldemort at bay, no sir, he didn't know how to mend his own cuts.
Now, the final nail in the coffin, because this is literally that. The number of people who passed away to save his miserable worthless little behind isn't even funny. Off the top of my head, his parents, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, one of the twins, Severus, Mad-Eye, Neville's parents went insane, Hedwig ( a damn owl did better than him), Dumbledore, Cedric, old man guarding Voldy's paternal home. Now those from the other side who died because of fighting in this stupid battle. Bellatrix, Crabbe, Goyle, Voldemort of course, amd many more whose names I can't remember, because the writing doesn't focus on them that strongly. They said the dark side was getting stronger, but they said it in one sentence without any real implications being shown to the readers, because little children don't want to read about bad guys killing a lot of innocent people. Voldemort is the real hero, he kept repeating, I don't want to waste magical blood, please stop the fighting. He is the one who actually cares about the race at large. Harry just wants a normal life with the girl he snared while she was young (yet made out with quite a few before she finally settled for him), and wants to learn how to parallel park. I'm surprised he even put his kids at Hogwarts, and seriously, what's his job?
All these amazing people, who've spent years getting to be amazing, all gave their lives up for this one jackass. I mean I quiver with rage everytime I think about it. Good vs Evil, and the triumph of good vs evil, but my God, this wore thin real quick. The series should be named, Harry Potter, and the kick up his backside that he should have received a long time ago. No Harry, but seriously, where do you work?
